One Hundred & Fifteen
I grasped Sage’s arm and towed her along with me past the kitchen and out the door to the back hall and onto the storage closet where I’d had that confab with Seth almost a week ago.All content © N/.ôvel/Dr/ama.Org.
A week where I’d spent more nights tossing and turning than actually sleeping. I’d nearly confided in Sage about Seth’s latest suggestion, but I hadn’t because I didn’t know what she’d say.
Would she tell me he’d gone off his rocker and run while I still could? Or would the diehard romantic inside her insist I throw all caution to the wind and have a baby with the man I’d loved for so long?
So what if he wasn’t suggesting a real relationship? Those were so 2016. Besides, it wasn’t like I’d ever had one that last more than the change of a calendar from one month to another.
A few dates, and a few makeout sessions, and things always petered out. A therapist would probably say I drove men away and had too high expectations.
I’d say that I’d spent so many years being a caregiver to a woman I owed everything to and loved so much that I was too tired to waste emotional energy on dating.
I’d already used up so much on just getting through every damn day. But being with Seth didn’t require that whole getting-to-know-you dance.
Even sex with him had been surprisingly effortless. We had a rhythm, even when he scared me shitless with this hidden dominant side of him and dirty talk.
Dirty talk, for God’s sake. From Seth. To me. The girl whose hair he’d held back after the prom when I lost every bit of the tequila I’d loaded up on to try to have a good time and get wasted with my friends.
I’d never been skilled at cutting loose. As proven by the fact that the first time I had sex it was with a man who wanted to impregnate me, so obviously, I made weird choices.
And now I was going to have to admit them. Out loud. I opened the storage room door and pulled Sage inside with me, shutting the door safely behind us.
“You have to swear not to breathe a word of this to anyone. You have to promise me.” Sage slapped her hands on her hips.
“You think you need to ask? Of course, your secrets are safe with me.” She held out a handy, pinky extended, and I smiled a little as I hooked mine with hers.
“To the grave,” she said solemnly, and my smile turned into a slightly misty grin.
“To the grave,” I echoed.
“Did you make love with him again? Tell me.” Her eyes gleamed and she leaned closer, reminding me of a nosy news reporter.
Her face was a few inches below mine but it didn’t lessen the invasive factor.
“Was it amazing? The first time isn’t supposed to be, but the second…” She sighed dreamily.
“Were their sparks?” I slid away from the door so she couldn’t hem me in. She was like a pug adorable, pushy, and relentless.
“Don’t call it making love. That’s creepy. We fucked. Both times.”
“I knew it. I knew you had that sex flush going on. You’re the same color as your dress. Was it incredible? Was it all you hoped for? Did he give you a climax?”
“More creepiness. No, he didn’t give me a climax, he helped me to get there but I’d like to think I had a lot to do with it myself. The mind is the biggest sex organ, you know.”
“But it was better this time. It had to be better because you’re barely answering my questions.” I gripped my shoulders, turning away to stare at a dusty corner of the storage room.
I’d run from Seth’s right to this one, and every bit of my flight was weighing on me now. He’d been so incredible, so careful to make sure I was right there every step of the way, and I’d repaid him by taking off. Again.
“It was more than I ever imagined,” I said softly, swallowing over the grit in my throat.
“He was almost desperate to have me. I never fathomed that could be real. That he could want me the way I always”
“The same way you wanted him.” “Yeah.”
“But he did. Oh, Ally, that’s so awesome.” She stroked my arm but didn’t try to get me to turn around. Under her relentlessness was a heart of pure platinum.
“Did he take a long lunch break or something and bring you back to his house? Handy living so close.” Heat blasted my face.
“Um, no.”
“Don’t tell me he went for a room at the Inn again. Is he just trying to make tongues wag?”
“Not that either.” I cleared my throat.
“We did it in his office.”
“You did it in his office?” she screeched and I winced and covered my face with my hands. If there was anyone left in town who didn’t know that Seth and I were slapping skin, there wouldn’t be after this conversation.
“Yes. Please keep your voice down.”
“Like where, on the floor?” I shook my head.
“Against the wall?” Sage lowered her voice about a quarter of a decibel.
“On the on the desk?” The sheer scandalization in her tone made me laugh.
“It’s not that shocking. People have office sex all the time. There’s even a category on porn sites.”
“There is? And why are you going to porn sites? Never mind. Don’t want to know. Anyway, on the desk. Really.” She whistled.
“Wow.” I cleared my throat again.
“Yeah, it was fairly wow. I didn’t expect that when I went there, by the way. I just came over to tell him all systems were a go, and he surprised the hell out of me by”
“You said yes? Oh my God.” Sage let out an excited peal of laughter and darted in front of me before pulling my hands off my shoulders to grip them.
“So you could be pregnant, like right now? This very instant? Oh God, I need to prepare. We’ll need to have a shower. Are you planning on finding out the sex? We can go neutral theme for the party.”
“Sage.” I huffed out a laugh.
“The first time, he used a condom.”
“But this time he didn’t, right?” Sage demanded.
“So you could be with child right now.”