Chapter 48
Track 18
LOVE ON
The ride to Cade’s apartment is quiet, but it’s comfortable. There’s so much to say, but after five days apart, it’s incredible to be this unit of three again. To soak in every detail of one another. The guys are in the front, and I’m in the back, taking in the city as it flies by. It’s charming, though now that I’ve been to Bristol, there’s no doubt that small towns are more my vibe.
“Hungry?” Cade asks, his blue eyes meeting mine in the rearview mirror.
Declan chuckles from the front seat.
The sound instantly warms my chest, and it brings a smile to Cade’s face. Our stoic guy doesn’t laugh much, so pulling one from him is a rare feat.
“She tried just about every item in the suite,” Declan explains, peering over his shoulder at me. “I thought I might have to roll her out of there.”
“Listen—” I swat at him playfully. “Beckett said the sausages at the arena couldn’t compare to the ones at Lang Field, so I had to try them.”
Declan drops his chin and shakes his head. “That man is such an idiot.”
Cade’s laugh is light. “Eh, he’s not so bad.” With another glance in the rearview mirror, he lifts his brows. “So were they?”
I shrug. “Never tried the ones at Lang Field, so I can’t really say. But I told him the arena’s were better.”
Declan folds his arms over his chest proudly. “That’s my girl.”
Cade barks out a laugh. “How did he react?”
“Told me I have to try them one after the other before I can make that decision. Then he disappeared with his phone to his ear, working to make it happen.”
I smile the whole way to Cade’s building, though a thread of trepidation worms its way through me. I’ve never been to his apartment, but that alone doesn’t worry me. No, I can’t stop thinking about what to expect now that things are more out in the open between us.
It’s been a week since I’ve had them. Declan didn’t even try to touch me while Cade was gone. Not after how they left things. So I’m ravenous, but it’s not for food. I’m hungry for their hands, for their attention, and I’m salivating at the thought of watching the two of them together.
But sex isn’t always the answer, regardless of how incredible it is with them.
“Could we walk for a bit?” Declan asks when we get out of the car. He helped me out of the back seat and kept hold of my hand, but his attention is fixed on Cade. “I’ve always loved this area at Christmas.”
Cade nods and stuffs his hands into his pockets.
With a grunt, Declan squeezes my hand. “That all right with you, sweetheart? You warm enough.”
I reach for Cade, who pulls his hands back out of his pockets and yanks me into his side. Then I squeeze Declan’s palm. “I’ve got my two guys to keep me warm. Of course I’m good.”
The warmth in his brown eyes melts me. With a kiss to my forehead, he takes off, and the two of them guide me down the street. It’s late, after ten, but the sidewalks are busy. Couples walk by, bundled up and cozy, holding hands, and groups of friends chatter loudly, likely heading home after a night of drinking.
The crisp air is renewing, the bright lights warming.
We stumble upon Quincy Market, where shops and restaurants line the cobblestone street. A content sigh escapes me as we pass under a string of twinkling lights. The strands are attached to the buildings on either side and crisscross above our heads, creating a sparkling ceiling. As music filters through the air, I can’t help but hum along. For the first time this season, I’m hit with just a hint of Christmas spirit.
“This reminds me of the festival my family goes to at home.”
Declan stops walking, his hand still gripping mine. “Is that a good thing?”
I turn back, bringing Cade with me, and smile up at him. This stoic man cares so deeply about his loved ones. “It’s a great thing.” For a moment, I watch a man playing the saxophone nearby, taking a moment to enjoy it before admitting the truth to even myself. “But I doubt it will ever feel like home again.”
Cade loops an arm around my waist, frowning. “I hate that.”
I shrug. “Even if I was able to forgive them, they’ll never understand this.” I point at both men, then myself.
If I thought Declan was stiff before, it’s nothing compared to how he goes rigid now.
I immediately reassure him. “They don’t need to understand it, though. Because the two of you make me happy.”
Cade drops a kiss to the crown of my head. “I happen to know my mother loves you. Dec’s too.”
“I love them both too.” My stomach knots a little, though, as I prepare to ask a question I’m not sure I want to know the answer to. “But aren’t you worried that they won’t accept us?”
Cade laughs. “Please, our mothers have been hoping we’d settle down for decades. They’ll be thrilled.”
Declan’s demeanor is much more reserved. He scratches his chin. “Not sure they expected us to settle down together.”
The smile that splits Cade’s face is so big it makes him squint. “No. I think you surprised all of us with that.”
Without a thought of how the three of us might look to passersby, Declan steps closer and splays a rough hand over Cade’s cheek. He cups mine with his other hand and gently strokes us both. “The two of you surprised the hell out of me too. I’m sorry I didn’t handle it well. Sorry I didn’t express myself better.” He sighs. He’s clearly still beating himself up.
But I certainly understand that coming to terms with who he is and who he loves didn’t come easy. That when the world is sure to judge us, it would obviously make it less than easy to be honest about how he was feeling.
Communicating can be a challenge, even when a person’s only concern is whether someone feels the same. Throw in fear of judgment and ridicule, and the challenge multiplies. It took incredible courage for Declan to come to terms with all that he has in such a short period of time. I’m proud of him.
“You owe me no apologies,” I tell him, cupping my hand over his. “And in case I haven’t said it today, I love you, and I’m proud to be yours.”
Lips curving into a delicious smile, he dips down and kisses me. When he pulls away, he turns to Cade, his hand still on his cheek. “And you. Can you forgive me for getting it so wrong?”
“I forgave you when you texted me.”
Declan scowls. “What?”
Cade’s easy smile falls into place. “You never text anyone but Mel and Liv. It took a lot for you to send that message.”
“That’s ridiculous.” Declan huffs.
“What is?” Cade frowns, looking from Declan to me.
“That your standards are so low,” Declan grits out. “Baby, you need to demand more from me. You deserve more.”
Cade chuckles, but Declan’s expression remains serious.
“Well,” Cade says, “you did mention groveling.”
Declan steps up to him and murmurs against his lips. “I’m going to grovel so good.” The kiss he lays on Cade is completely different from the one he shared with me. Where ours was sweet, theirs is aggressive. Nips and growls, tongue and teeth.
Cade’s fingers dig into my sides as he pulls away, panting.All content © N/.ôvel/Dr/ama.Org.
“Okay, you need to take me home before I start stripping right here,” I tease, my breaths coming quicker now too.
With a laugh—that rare, beautiful laugh—Declan drapes an arm over me and turns. “For what it’s worth,” he says, guiding us back toward Cade’s building, “I have no idea how my family is going to react either.”
From my other side, Cade replies, “I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised. Liv is your biggest fan—besides us, of course—and the Langfields are the least judgmental people I know.”
Declan lifts his chin and assesses Cade over the top of my head. “Beckett is the most annoying person I know, but the rest of them are fine, I guess.”
Despite the goose bumps over every inch of my body, Declan’s humor has a way of warming me from the inside out. He’s so serious, so gruff, and that makes moments like this so special.
Declan scans the buildings as we pass, so his face is turned away when he says, “I guess we’ll find out tomorrow.”
Cade and I blink at each other before we turn in unison to Declan.
“What’s tomorrow?” I ask.
“Oh,” Cade says, “the whole family goes to Beckett’s for Christmas Eve.” He doesn’t elaborate, as if that should make sense to me, before he lifts his chin, eyeing Declan again. “And you want us to be there?”
With a sigh, Declan drops his head back. “Do I have to say everything?”
I laugh. “Yes, Declan. Use your words.”
He huffs, his breath clouding in front of him. “Fine. I’d really like it if my boyfriend and my girlfriend would spend Christmas Eve with me and my family. Does that work?”
Stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, I cup his face and rub my thumb against his lip like he always does to me. “Yeah, Chief. That works.”
“You two go get in the shower. I’ll get things ready,” Declan says the moment the door is shut behind us.
A thrill zips up my spine. He’s as anxious to be together as I am, and I’m 100 percent on board with his command. We can play it slow another night.
It’s ridiculous how much it turns me on to see him so comfortable taking the lead even in Cade’s space. I shouldn’t be surprised. This is our dynamic. It feels like we’re all settling into who we were meant to be. With one another and on our own.
“You don’t want to join us?” Cade asks, though he’s already tugging me toward his bedroom.
“Just tell me where the lube and toys are, baby. I’ll meet you in there once I’ve got everything set up.”
With a shake of his head, Cade chuckles. “You just assume I’ve got it all.”
Declan strides across the room and cuffs his neck. “You’re my filthy boy,” he says, bringing their faces close together. “Of course you do.”
Cade’s breath hitches. “Top drawer. Left-hand side.”
With an arch of a brow, Declan drops a quick kiss to his lips. Then he gently pushes us toward the bedroom.
Cade’s apartment is sterile in comparison to Declan’s home. No wonder he spends his free weekends in Bristol. Though I’m sure Declan has more to do with that than how empty this place feels.
Cade’s shower isn’t quite as big as Declan’s, but there will still be plenty of space. Once he’s got the water going, he turns, his eyes warm as he studies me. “How are you feeling?”
My heart flips at the genuine affection in his tone. “I’m good. Really, really good.”
With a hand on my cheek, he pulls me in for a long kiss. It’s sweet, like coming home. “You know how much I missed you?” he murmurs, his lips brushing against mine.
“If it’s anything close to how much I missed you, then it had to be a whole lot.”
He smiles that easy smile of his, one dimple popping. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah,” I murmur, nuzzling into his neck.
“Do you know that I love you?” His words are so soft, I almost miss them.
Butterflies swarm my belly as his truth registers, their wings fluttering so violently I think they could carry me away. “I love you too.”
His eyes light up. “Yeah?”
“Yes, Cade. I’m in love with you.”
“I still can’t believe you’re both here.” He nips at my lip, his tone light. “Can’t believe we’re doing this. You’re the first person I’ve ever said that to, ya know? That I love you.”
Chest to chest, I tip my head back and study his face. “Really?”
He nods, eyes never leaving mine.
“But I’m not the first person you’ve ever loved.”
He averts his gaze, one side of his lips ticking up in a shy smile, and shakes his head. “No, I suppose that’s true. Though the feeling is different now.”
“It is different.” I lace my hands behind his neck. “You shouldn’t be afraid to tell him, though. He loves you too.”
Cade looks away, his breath stuttering. “Isn’t it too soon?”
“To tell the man you’ve always loved how you feel about him? Was it too soon for us?”
“Fuck no,” he says on a laugh.
I tilt my head, waiting for him to really look at me. “Then why would it be for him?”
He rubs a thumb gently over my cheek. “I don’t want to rush him.”
“He kissed you in front of your team. He’s taking you to family Christmas tomorrow.” I give him a sharp look. “He loves you.”
With his forehead pressed to mine, he closes his eyes. “Maybe.”
Before I can rebut, his lips are on mine again. It’s the kind of kiss a person can get lost in. One of those that begins softly but then grows until waves of heat emanate between us.
We’re groping one another, moaning, nipping, and licking, when Declan’s voice startles us apart.
“Why are you two still dressed?”
With my lip caught between my teeth, I smile up at the bossy man I’m so in love with. “We didn’t want to start without you.”
Declan grunts. “Seems like you were doing just that.”
Steam billows around us, and the mirror is nothing but a white fog.
Cade spins me toward Declan and grasps the bottom of my jersey. “Maybe I just wasn’t ready to peel her out of this.”
Declan smirks, lifting his chin. “The jersey was a nice touch, huh?”
Cade ducks down and laughs into my neck. “It was perfect.”
Declan crowds us. He’s so close that all I can see is his matching blue jersey. With one hand on my hip, he uses the other to pull Cade’s mouth off my neck and toward his own. They’re kissing with me sandwiched between them again. Fuck. Being in the middle of their embrace, with Declan’s heat at my front and Cade’s at my back, has me squirming, losing my mind with lust.
Declan pulls back with a curse, his focus lowering to me. “Sorry, sweetheart.”
“Never apologize for going after what you want.” I pat his chest. “It’s incredibly hot.”
There’s that delicious smirk again. “Good. Right now, what I want is you naked and in the shower.”
I point at Cade, arching a brow. “First I want to watch him take off your jersey.”
“I like the way she thinks,” Cade grumbles. He grasps my sides and lifts me onto the bathroom counter. “Think you can be a good girl and sit here for a minute?”
I nod as warmth pools between my thighs. I’m so fucking wet, the idea of a shower is comical.
Cade spins around and takes a step toward Declan. “I swear you’ve never looked better than you do in my jersey.”
“I’ll wear it again when you fuck me one day, but right now, I need us both naked.”
Holy shit. Cade’s jaw drops, and mine does too. The ease with which Declan mentioned being fucked by his best friend? The heat simmering low in my belly kicks up a notch. That scenario just jumped to the top of my list of fantasies. If I have my way, it’s something we’ll experience soon and often. I’ve got a lifetime to have it all. Them. Us. It’s what dreams are made of.
Cade runs a hand through his blond hair. “I gotta fuck you because your cock’s too big for me to take?”
Declan shakes his head. “You’ll take my cock just fine. I was made for you.”
Cade undoes his best friend’s belt, the metal clanking, then moves on to his zipper. As he tears his pants down his legs, he takes his boxers with them. The shirt is next. Cade is so tall that he tugs the jersey over his head with ease. As it flutters to the floor, Declan fists his thick cock, and my mouth waters at the sight. I’m tempted to hop off this counter and drag him to the ground so I can ride him here.
Amused brown eyes find mine. “Like what you see, sweetheart?” He strokes his shaft, moving down, then back up, flicking his wrist at the tip.
I squirm on the counter.
“I’m not enough for her on my own, though.” He’s talking to Cade, though he’s got me locked in his gaze. Taunting me.
Cade chuckles. “Nope, our girl needs two cocks. Isn’t that right, Trouble?”
He shucks his Oxford and dress pants quickly. Then, facing Declan, he strokes himself, mirroring his best friend’s movements.
“She may need two cocks, but you only get one. Right, baby?” Despite Declan’s hard tone, there’s a layer of vulnerability just beneath the surface of the question. He needs reassurance that he’s enough. That we’ll be enough.
“Damn right.” Cade bats Declan’s hand away from his own cock and strokes him.
My stoic grump of a man lifts his chin, his neck muscles straining, and grunts. Cade pulls him closer, jacking them both simultaneously.
“Fuck, that feels good.” Declan stretches an arm out to me. “I need your lips, sweetheart.”
I scramble off the counter and fall into his arms. His chest heaves as he slips his tongue into my mouth. We only stay like this for a moment before he pulls away and pushes Cade toward the shower. “I need you both now.”
As Cade steps beneath the stream of water, Declan turns and tugs my jersey over my head.
“I love you,” I remind him.
With a smile, he pushes my hair behind my ear. “I love you so much.”
Once I’m naked, he carries me into the shower, where both men take their time washing every inch of my body. It’s decadent and beautiful, being with these men. My men.
The air, already heavy with moisture, thickens as we dry off quietly. The three of us have been together more than once. But that felt like fooling around. Like sex.
Tonight, our emotions are running high, and there are still unspoken confessions hanging between us. This is so much more than anything I’ve ever experienced.
Several toys are set up on Cade’s nightstand. As I peruse them, I squirm, wondering which are for me and which are for Cade.
“Lie down on your stomach, baby,” Declan says.
With a kiss to my mouth, Cade obeys, draping himself over the towel Declan laid out on the bed.
The man in charge tonight eyes me, one brow lifted. “You going to help me prep him?”
And I’m done for. For a man who’s never fucked another man, he sure is taking to this quickly, and I am here for it.
I bite my lip, excited at the prospect. Thrilled that I get to be here for this. It’s an honor to experience this first with them.
Declan rounds the bed and picks up a bottle of lube and a silicone anal plug. He coats the plug, then drizzles a healthy amount of lube between Cade’s cheeks.
With one hand fisted on the mattress, he looms over Cade and whispers in his ear. Cade nods in response, then Declan slowly begins to work the plug into his ass.
Cade grunts, but he follows the sound with a “green.” He’s handling the sensation just as well as I did. Although when Declan did this to me, he ate me out until I was so wet, I didn’t know what was happening. Feeling like Cade’s been cheated, I step forward, taking control for once.
“My turn,” I say. “Cade has forgiven you, and so have I, but you promised you’d grovel.”
Declan arches a brow. “And what is it you’d like me to do for you, sweetheart?”
“Lie down.”
Declan can’t hide his smile in response to my bossy tone. He settles on his back next to Cade and laces his fingers behind his head as he waits for my next instruction.
“I didn’t get to see the way Cade fucked your throat last week. I want to watch it while I ride you.”
Declan’s chuckle is dark. “Sweetheart, you and Cade are terrible at demanding apologies. It would be my fucking pleasure.”
Cade props himself up on an elbow and kisses him. “Maybe we just like to see you happy.”
Cupping Cade’s neck, Declan gazes at him lovingly. “Then give me your cock.”
Eagerly, Cade shifts into position on his knees. The way Declan licks his lips as he takes in the sight has heat racing up my spine.
“Don’t go easy on him,” I tell Cade as he feeds his length into his mouth. Fuck, I want to watch every second. See just how much they want one another.
I climb on top of Declan and slide up and down over his dick, coating him with my arousal. A moan slips out as I use him like a toy, rolling my clit until I’m edging us both beyond reason.
“Color?” I tease as I sink onto his length.
Cade has a firm grip on Declan’s head and his dick shoved so far down his throat there’s no way he can answer. “He’s fucking green. Don’t you worry.”
Declan smiles around Cade and takes him impossibly deep.
“Stay that way. No one comes until I say so,” I remind them.
He swells inside me, clearly liking this game.
Still fucking Declan’s mouth, Cade leans forward and kisses me, sharing ragged breaths and tangling his tongue with mine.
“Fuck. Yellow,” he groans after a moment, reeling back and pulling his cock out of Declan’s mouth. Glaring at his best friend, he practically strangles his erection in his fist. “What the hell were you doing with your tongue?”
“Like that, baby?” Declan taunts.
With a deep breath in, Cade shakes his head, but then he’s smiling. “Okay, green.” He slips between Declan’s lips again, this time moving slower, sliding himself in and out until he’s once again pulling back. I can barely focus on my own orgasm when I watch them. They’re so fucking beautiful like this.
Declan is thrusting up. Little teasing movements that have me grinding down in need of more. “Holy shit,” he groans. “I need to fuck.”
I peer up at Cade, scrutinizing his expression. Is he ready for this? He’s focused on the two of us, just as lost in us as I was in him and Declan.
The hunger in his eyes is all the answer I need. I know what he wants. What the two of them need. And I intend to give it to them. Pressing my breasts against Declan’s chest, I bring my mouth to his ear. “He’s ready for you.”
He stills beneath me and darts a look at his best friend. Above him, Cade worries his bottom lip. But he nods, his focus never leaving Declan’s face.
“Thank fuck.” Declan pulls me in for a deep kiss, then rolls so that I’m beneath him. He fucks into me, hitting me in a way that has my muscles spasming, before he pulls out. “I want to see you when I—” His voice catches.
With a grin, Cade nods. He understands what Declan wants, and he knows how to give it to him. He grabs a pillow from the head of the bed and settles himself on top of it, canting his hips just a bit. Then he holds out his arms and waves me to him. “C’mere, Trouble. You’re going to ride me while Declan fucks me.”
“Holy shit,” Declan and I say in unison.
Cade grabs my leg and pulls me on top, not giving any of us a moment to overthink it. Then he slides himself inside me and pulls me close.
“I love you,” I whisper, my body shuddering. Pressing a hand to Cade’s chest, I arch back and peer at Declan, holding out a hand. “And I love you.”
Declan, who’s wearing his patented unreadable expression, visibly relaxes as he slips his hand into mine. “I love you so much, Melina. We wouldn’t be here without you. We wouldn’t be us without you.” With his other hand, he squeezes Cade’s thigh. “And I love you,” he says to the man beneath me. “I love you so fucking much. I’m so sorry it took me so long to get here, but I’m damn happy to call you both mine.”
Cade’s heart beats rapidly beneath my palm, his eyes wide and his lips parted. “I love you too.”
“Lean forward, sweetheart.” Declan pushes gently between my shoulder blades until my breasts are pressed to Cade’s chest. “I’ll go as slow as I can,” he adds. For a moment, he’s quiet, working the plug out. Then there’s a click—the cap to the lube bottle, I assume.
Cade is breathing through his teeth. Maybe in apprehension over Declan’s big dick, or maybe he’s still in shock after his best friend’s declaration.
I strum my fingers across the side of his face. “You okay?”
He nods, the tension in his body melting. “He loves me,” he whispers.
“Told you,” I mumble.
With a smile so big both dimples pop, he pulls my mouth to his. As he swipes his tongue against mine, he groans.
Behind me, Declan shifts forward, working himself inside him.
“Holy fuck,” he mutters. “You feel—”
“Perfect,” I supply. “He feels absolutely perfect.”
Everything about this moment is perfect. Because the three of us are joined. We’re one, and these two deliciously wonderful men are all mine.