The way I used to live

chapter 32

Daksha's POV:-

The next day, Mom woke me up to perform the mañgala snānam. Mom asked me to wear a cotton

saree for the ritual.

By the time I went downstairs, everybody was there while preparing everything for the ritual.

Yuktha took me to the lawn and made me sit on a stool. They all smeared my face with Nalugu(a

mixture of flours and turmeric powder) and poured the turmeric water on me.

Peddamma asked me to freshen up and take some rest for a while as I had to perform a lot of rituals. I

woke up at noon and had my lunch.

They informed me that Arjun's family already reached the wedding venue. Even most of our relatives

went to the venue to handle the things there. Remaining people, along with me, would reach the venue

after completing Gauri pūja.

Soon it was time for the pooja and the beauticians did the magic with their hands. They took me

downstairs. Mom did the hārati or Aarti. After that, they guided me to do the pooja.

When I was done with the pooja, we all started going to the wedding venue.

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Arjun's POV:

When we reached the wedding venue, I was astonished seeing the decorations. The place was

beautifully decorated with all the rich colorful flowers and mango leaves.

Her father and a young man who seemed to be the same age as mine, gave us a grand welcome. I

came to know that he was Daksha’s brother. Indra greeted him with a hug as they already knew each

other. This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

Her brother came to me and had a nice chat with me but before going, he warned me to take care of

his sister and I agreed gladly to it. They asked me to rest and I agreed to it. I went to the room that was

allotted to me and took a small nap.

After a while, they called me for the rituals. I got ready and went towards them. A priest came there to

perform the ritual of Snātakam. It is known as Bath Graduation. It is performed before householder

responsibilities are handed over to the groom. This ritual takes place before the muhūrtam...precisely a

few hours prior to the wedding.

After chanting some mantras, the priest made me wear the silver thread as a part of the custom.

By the time, the ritual was over, it was evening and time for the actual wedding rituals to start. I went to

change my dress and after that, Indra called me for another ritual. The next ritual's name was kāsī

Yātra.

It is a fun-filled ritual where I had to pretend to go to Kashi and to say that I have discarded the worldly

pleasures like marriage, relations, and property, and was no longer interested in family life.

Both sides were arguing playfully. One side was encouraging me to go to Kashi and the other side was

convincing me not to go.

Finally, Aditya, Daksha's brother, came to me. As a part of the ritual, he stopped me and persuaded me

to assume the responsibility of the household.

In Telugu speaking states, most of the weddings usually take place at midnight. So, we got some time

before the actual muhurtham.

We also give high priority to the food. We served food to all the guests, which is also part of our culture

of offering food to anyone who comes on an auspicious day. It finally ended with the offering of sweets

after dinner as it is considered auspicious.

Mom came to me and fed me the food. After that, she told me that Daksha already reached the venue

and asked me to get ready as well. After I was ready, I was taken to the mandapam where the wedding

was going to take place.

The priest made me perform the Ganēsa and Gauri puja. During that time, Parvara, the ritual of

changing the bride's paternal gothram(clan) to that of the groom's, was performed.

My Mom and Daksha's parents were present there when I performed the ritual.

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Daksha's POV:

We reached our farmhouse where the wedding was going to be performed. I was taken into a room.

They made me get ready wearing my wedding attire.

They braided my hair and decorated it with flowers as per the tradition. Yuktha and Rishu's mothers

came to my room and gave me their blessings.

Finally, Mom and Sarada aunty came to me and blessed me after kissing both my cheeks. After that,

mom tied basikam around my forehead.

Girls took so many selfies with me and they kept on praising me, telling things like how beautiful I was

looking and how Arjun would have a hard time controlling himself, making me blush uncontrollably.

My dad came to us and gave me a kiss on the forehead with tears in his eyes. Looking at him made me

quite emotional but I controlled myself and gave him an assured smile.

Soon, my peddananna and my mamayya came to us with a bamboo basket to carry me to the

mandapam(wedding pavilion). They made me sit in it and they both lifted me with the help of my Anna

and cousins.

Amidst all the teasing, they carried me till the mandapam(wedding pavilion) and made me sit in front of

Arjun with a veil separating us. Until the kanyādānam would be over, we were not allowed to look at

each other. They placed that curtain as a partition between us.

It was a ritual where my parents handed over my responsibility to Arjun. As a part of the ritual, my

parents washed his feet with milk and water, as the groom is considered to be an incarnation of Lord

Vishnu who comes to marry the daughter who is considered as Devi Lakshmi.

The priest asked Arjun to chant the mantra "Dharmēca Arthēca Kamēcha Mokshēca Nāti Carāmi"

three times which would be an assurance to my Dad that he would remain my companion in joy and

sorrow, forever.

The next ritual was panigrahanam which means "holding hands". Arjun held my hand and spoke the

mantra that has the meaning: "The Devas have offered you to me in order that I may live the life of a

householder (Gruhasta); we shall not part from each other."

After the priest recited the ślokaṃs from the Vedas, we were asked to place a paste made from cumin

seeds and jaggery on each other’s heads. The custom is referred to as Jīlakarra-Bellamu.

The ceremony was observed to communicate that our relationship was unbreakable and we were

inseparable. That was the actual muhūrtaṃ time.

The ritual (Pravara) of changing my gotram(clan) was once again performed on the marriage dais in

the presence of everyone attending the ceremony. Henceforth, I no longer belonged to my father's

gotra, but belonged to Arjun's.

As a part of the Madhuparkam ritual, they took me back and dressed me up in a white sari. Arjun was

also asked to wear a white dhoti with a red border because white symbolizes purity and red represents

strength.

Ten married women (Sumangaḷi) accompanied me. Six of the ten women held plates containing sacred

rice (a mixture of rice and turmeric powder), while the rest of them held small lit lamps on their

respective plates. Here rice represents abundance, while the lit lamps symbolize light.

Maṅgaḷasūtra Dhāraṇa means tying Maṅgaḷasūtraṃ (holy thread). In order to perform the ritual, we

were asked to sit next to each other and the partition between us was removed.

Then Arjun tied the two strings of Maṅgaḷasūtraṃ, each with a golden disc, around my neck while

smiling at me gleefully and I too returned it with equal enthusiasm.

The Maṅgaḷasūtraṃ represents the physical, mental, and spiritual union of the couple. In Telugu

weddings, the groom ties three knots of Maṅgaḷasūtraṃ.

When he tied that sacred thread around my neck, we were showered with Akshithalu as the blessings.

In this ceremony, we both exchanged garlands.

Married people witnessing this occasion come forward to bless us by sprinkling flower petals and rice

coated with turmeric powder which was called Akshithalu.

As a part of the Saptapadi rituals, we walked seven steps together around the holy fire, while taking our

oaths of caring, protecting, understanding, loving and guiding each other, with the pallu (edge of the

sari) of my saree tied to one end of the Arjun's scarf(Kanḍuva).

Sthālīpākaṃ is a ritual wherein Arjun adorned my feet with silver toe rings. It is also believed that the

man bends to the woman in order to claim her as his.

Also in order to ward off the evil eye, I was adorned by a string of black beads during the ceremony.

These beads, along with the silver toe rings, symbolized that I was a married woman.

After that, a kunḍa (decorated silver or terra-cotta vessel) full of water was placed in front of us and a

ring was put in it. Arjun had to put his right hand in and I had to use my left hand. We needed to fish the

ring out.

We had to do this three times and whoever won more rounds was supposed to be the dominant one in

this marriage.

That was a time of fun because water was splashed everywhere and there were chants and shouts of

support for both sides. Every time Arjun got the ring, he slipped it into my hand but I again pushed it

into his hand and so every time we took the ring out together.

After this ritual, we were again made to sit opposite to each other for thalambralu ritual. It is a ritual

where we have to pour sacred rice on each other.

We enjoyed this ritual a lot. The next ritual was Arundhati Nakshatram. It is a ritual where both are

shown the stars that represent Arundhathi and Vasista. These stars represent the perfect couple

complementing each other.

Finally, we were united with the symbolic traditions and in the presence of Panchabhuthalu(five

essential elements of life), amidst the blessings of everyone.

It was then time for the ritual of Appaginthalu where I was supposed to be traditionally handed off to

Arjun and his family.

It was completed in between a tearful bidding from my family and a lot of assurance from Arjun to them.

I hugged my brother so tightly, not wanting to leave them.

He assured me that I could visit them at any time. I finally bid a goodbye, not before hugging them once

again.

I didn't find Aaru anywhere and I knew she hated goodbyes. That was why she might be hiding

somewhere and crying to herself. I got sadder after remembering the beautiful time that us four had

together.

Then we sat in the car and went to Arjun's house. I was sobbing silently while looking outside the

window when Arjun’s warm hand clasped my palm.

He gave me a side hug in a consoling manner and I leaned more into him, welcoming his embrace

after resting my head on his shoulder.

It might have been the end of the rituals but it was the beginning of a heartwarming tale of love, hope,

and acceptance.