Chapter 29: With the moon closing in
Touching him got a little more natural after the acceptance step. It was so natural that it was almost an unintentional desire to have him around me all the time. I suspected that it was my mind's way of keeping me from going insane due to lack of human interactions, but a deeper part of me had found comfort in having Riven around, and I couldn't shake that feeling. Riven, unlike the first times, reacted like every touch was a gift sent from the angels. So many emotions would pass through his eyes by me simply putting my hand on his back, from surprise, to wonder and then something softer, something indescribable. When I first noticed it, I was overwhelmed by my own emotions. But since then, I've intentionally made sure to give him the softest touches I could give him just to bring out those feelings again. To slowly clue him in on the fact that I was starting to accept him.
We both moved around each other like we'd been born into it by now, communication barely even necessary when we both already knew what to do to make this work. He handled the wood chopping and the fish traps as well as the bee houses in the corner. Meanwhile I took care of the fruits and vegetables that needed to be picked for the day, and the chickens when they wanted to cooperate.
Riven makes the food while I prepare the fireplace for warmth during the night.
Riven sets the table while I tap up the water we have cleansed for today's meal.
Riven takes the dishes and I set the house in order for the night.
Riven takes the couch and I take the bed.
It had become so natural for us to understand each other now that I noticed immediately when something was wrong with Riven. It was not that he grew distant like last time. No, this was something else entirely. The first sign that something was wrong was that he zoned out more than usual. For example when he did the dishes or chopped wood by himself. I would sometimes just watch his body mechanically move while his mind was elsewhere. The more obvious sign that something was wrong was when I managed to scare him for the first time. He always knows where he has me, no matter the situation, no matter how quiet I try to be. The logical explanation to it is his senses of course, the fact that he can hear and smell things even from an inhuman distance. But once during our make out sessions, when his dick was in my hand and his mouth was on my neck he had confessed that I always stood out from the rest of the world. He had said that while he might sometimes hear the deers on the other side of the wall of mountains, the feeling of my presence always overshadowed the rest. It wasn't even my scents or my sound, he'd explained while sucking my nipples and drawing gasps from deep within my throat, it was just me. So when he jumped and almost dropped a plate after I carefully laid my hands on his shoulder I knew that something was bothering him. And after last time, I was convinced that communication worked better for us than everything else.
"Riven," I approached the subject softly as he set down the final plate. Still, based on the tensions on his shoulders, it was clear that he knew where this was heading. "What's bothering you?"
He turns around slowly to face me, and I can see how he considers telling me a lie. But I hope for both our sakes that he disregards that thought immediately. To spare both time and feelings. He doesn't lie to me.
But he doesn't tell me the truth either.
Instead he sighs and looks out of the window where the light of the moon has replaced the sun in illuminating the place. The full moon has been inching closer and closer for each passing day and I've noticed how Riven sometimes stares out of the window when the sky is clear and the moon is bright in the sky. Still, I don't think the full moon is what this is about. But I could be wrong...
"Riven..." I sigh his name in exhaustion and reach for him.Content property of NôvelDra/ma.Org.
Suddenly his lips are on mine.
This isn't like the other times. This isn't what he usually kisses like. Sure, once we've settled into the mood Riven grows hungrier and hungrier for every passing second, but he always starts slow. He always makes sure that I am on the same page as he was. It doesn't always have to be in words, but it is spoken in the way he softly cradles my neck and angles my face so that he can reach me more naturally. It is spoken in the way his hands always hover above my back like a featherlight touch until he is sure that I want this too.
But not this time.
This time his lips are desperate against mine and the arm around my waist presses me tight against him. The hand on my jaw is tight and demanding, keeping me in place so that he can take, take, take. It takes a solid minute before he's off my lips and on my ear instead.
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"I want you to ride me" He whispers and I shiver against the drop of his voice. "I want to be tied up against the bed, unable to move while you can do whatever you want to me, to my body. I want to forget my name but remember yours and only come when you allow me to. Liliana, I want you to take me."
It takes me some moments before I regain enough strength to push him back.
"Riven stop," I hiss and despite not using my safeword he backs off and seems to realise what he's done.
"Liliana..." He starts off horrified but I stop him with a shake of my hands.
"I want all that," I say as I take his hands in mine. "But this isn't that. And as appealing the sight might be, I can't do anything with you until you tell me what's really bothering you." Riven hesitates but then sighs in defeat.
It'll be a full moon soon," Riven avoids my eyes as he talks. "And I can't stop thinking about what the beast will do to you now when he finally has you."
"Wha..."
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What he's referring to finally settles in my mind and I stop breathing for a while. Of course I had known that sleeping with Riven wouldn't just be sleeping with Riven in this form, but in his other form as well. And I have had a taste of his desperation, I've had more than a taste of his yearning and his want so what will it feel like when I get a taste of it again but this time with a heightened senses in play. Every touch, every glance, every thought Riven sent my way are so emotionally packed that I can't even imagine what that type of want would do to a creature that's based on pure instincts. His own emotions were almost too much to handle (in the best ways possible), and I almost suspected that more would tear me apart. Still, I can't find myself wanting to back down, not from Riven, and certainly not from the beast. They'd always called me impulsive and hotheaded anyway.
"And I know we can't control it," Riven continues his frustrated rambling. "But I want it to be me as me the first time we do it. Not me as half anything else. Just me and you."
I put down his hands once he finishes and move my own up to his face where I cup each side of it until he's protected within my grasp. His eyes are wild and burning with fury, not at me but at the conflict between what he wants and what he needs. The fire in his eyes curses the world for not letting him have anything pure. However, behind that fury, there's a glimpse of that wanting he forced to the kiss earlier, and I find myself burning with the same desire.
This time, I placed my lips on his first, but he wasted no time responding to it. This was more similar. This was more Riven. This wasn't just his years and years of desperation, this was something far better. And despite enjoying every piece of desperation Riven reveals to me, nothing can pass the feeling of Riven kissing as he needs it more than breathing. Nothing can pass the feeling of him chasing whatever I am willing to give him because he knows that he can never get enough of it.
It makes me feel wanted.
It makes me feel powerful.
I move my lips from his lips to his ear, just as he'd done before, and whisper slowly.
"Find an acceptable piece of rope, and a blindfold," Riven's eyes snap to mine when he hears the last word and I can't help but grin. "What? You always brag about your werewolf senses and how you can feel me every time I approach. Let's see how great those senses really are. And how patient you can be."