CHAPTER 3
Zara’s POV
Antoinette and I were both coffee lovers, so I invited her to get a cup at the nearest coffee shop from the school campus. She went to the counter to get our favorites while I looked for a vacant table.
“Are you still with the bastard, Zara?” she immediately asked as soon as she brought our coffee.
I sighed, replying with, “Yes, I am still with Lucas Blackwood.”
Antoinette applauded sarcastically, then studied my face. I knew she was concerned, as she was the first person to know how Lucas has been treating me and our son.
“Be honest with me, Zara. Are you trying to be a saint? It has been six years since that blasted wedding. I expected that you would soon realize that living with that bastard is like living in hell. Every day, I felt guilty for everything that you have been through. It’s my fault,” Antoinette said.
“Don’t blame yourself, Antoinette. It was never your fault. You never forced me to spread my legs before him. I was excited that night,” I confessed, trying to comfort my friend who seemed too apologetic for my life’s situation.
“You can ask for a divorce. I am sure he would be happy to let you go,” she stated.
“I wish it is that easy,” I answered.
“Why not?”
“I signed a contract with him, Antoinette. I can’t just file for divorce. It should be him to initiate such a thing, and as his wife, I shouldn’t do anything to tarnish his reputation,” I informed Antoinette, and she was aghast.
“Oh, my God! I feel bad for you, Zara. You should do the right thing for your son. It is not healthy for your son to be in a chaotic environment. Besides, I believe that it will be better if you will just go back to your family. To your Mom and Grandpa,” she suggested.
“Honestly, I have been thinking about it lately. I wasted six years, waiting for him to have a change of heart, but it seems, it’s not going to happen anytime soon,” I told her.
“You should stop daydreaming about Lucas falling in love with you, Zara. You are aware it is not going to happen. Look, it has been six years, and still, he didn’t feel anything for you! He doesn’t like you from the beginning, and you know it has always been a one-sided love on your part since college days.”
“You are right,” I agreed because what else could I say?
“Just look for someone who can make you happy. Never settle for less, Zara. Not ever again,” she advised.
“I want to take him out of my system, but I don’t know how,” I informed Antoinette of my effort to un-love Lucas Blackwood.
“Get in touch with Nick again. He can help you forget about the damn bastard!”
“Nicholas Rutherford? For goodness’ sake, the man could be married as of this moment!”
“Wrong. He is still single, and I believe that he is still waiting for you, Zara. Come on, girl. Divorce the bastard and be happy with Nick,” she suggested maliciously.
“He’s our friend,” I reminded her.
“But he likes you, for sure,” she replied. “If he doesn’t like you, he wouldn’t be depressed when you married Lucas Blackwood,” she told me.
“Don’t assume something that is not true, Antoinette. He was just concerned about me.”
“I know, right? He was concerned when he learned about your pregnancy, but do you know that he was thinking about adopting your child and raising it with you if the damn bastard didn’t marry you?”
“That excuse for a wedding,” I snorted when I recalled the events on my wedding day. It was the most dreadful day of my life!
“Just try, Zara. Nick’s number is still the same,” she said.
“Oh God, stop it, Antoinette! I have no idea why you are so talkative today,” I complained, and she just laughed.NôvelDrama.Org holds © this.
After having our coffee, we spent a couple of minutes in the coffee shop while talking some more. However, when Antoinette kept on talking about our friend, Nicholas Rutherford, I decided it was time to end the conversation.
Fortunately, her husband called and wanted her to return to the campus as soon as possible. So, I was able to return home without some drama to do some things.
Then, thirty minutes before my son’s class would end, I would go back to the campus to pick him up. Once, I suggested to Lucas about availing the services of the school bus, but he refused. He said I had nothing else to do but to ensure that Enrique was fine.
As soon as I got home, I went to my room and sat in front of the large vanity mirror. I stared at my own reflection and smirked with disappointment. I had dark circles around my eyes, my lips were dry, and it seemed that a regular lip balm couldn’t fix it.
I couldn’t even use any skincare freely, or it would cause an argument between me and Lucas. Every time I would start caring for myself, he would accuse me of having an affair. He told me that since I forced myself into marrying him, then I had no right to look for someone else. I should endure my time with him. What a brute!
It wasn’t his style to physically hurt me, but mentally and psychologically, he knew how to torture me.
Later in the day, I picked up my son from school, and after telling him to take a bath, I immediately went to pamper myself in a bubble bath.
The following day was Saturday, so Enrique had no classes. I took him to the nearest grocery store. Actually, it has been one of our bonding moments during the weekend. Sometimes, I wished that Lucas would know how to free his schedule to spend some quality time with Enrique.
“Can I watch TV, Mom?” he asked as soon as we got home from buying groceries.
“Sure,” I answered, and I immediately opened his favorite channel – Cartoon Network. When it comes to watching television, he has no access to the remote control.
Actually, I was worried that he might see some news about Gisele, the actress that Lucas was dating. Speaking of Lucas, he didn’t come home last night, and he mentioned he wouldn’t be home for a week. He was probably with Giselle on a Europe tour.
The subdivision we lived in was private because he couldn’t afford to expose his dirty secret. He was so powerful that for six years, he was able to hide the fact that he was no longer a bachelor but married with one son.
“Will you be okay alone? I will just be in the kitchen to cook your favorite, dear,” I told him, and he nodded in understanding.
Then, I immediately went to the kitchen to prepare his favorite meal – vegetables and chicken. I roasted his favorite pumpkin and then prepared the ingredients for his favorite fried chicken.
In our home, Lucas wouldn’t dare to touch the food that I cooked. He said it was awful, but my son had no problem with it. He would always dine out, or he would dine with his family at their family home.
About an hour later, everything was ready, so I immediately returned to the living room where Enrique was busy watching a cartoon show.
“The food is ready,” I informed him, but he didn’t say anything. All the time, he would jump up from his seat to check the food with me. “Darling, is there something wrong?”
“I wish Daddy can be like that,” he said while pointing to the television where a Daddy pigeon was playing with his son.
For a moment, my eyes were glued to the television. I wished it was also the case, but it was not. When Enrique looked at me with tears in his eyes, my heart was broken a million times. My heart broke for him. As I sat down with Enrique, I knew that this conversation wasn’t going to be easy. He had been asking questions about his father, and I could see the pain in his eyes.
“Mommy, why doesn’t Daddy love us anymore?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
I took a deep breath, trying to hold back my own tears.
“Sweetheart, sometimes people make choices that hurt others, and it is not your fault,” I explained gently.
“But why did he leave us?” he pressed, his voice quivering.
I struggled to find the right words before I spoke again, “Your father is just busy at work, darling.”
“But today is Saturday! Does he have work during the weekend?” my son asked again, looking up at me with confusion.
“I don’t know, baby,” I replied, my voice breaking. “Sometimes, people don’t think about how their actions affect others. He is just busy with work,” I lied for the nth time.
Enrique nodded, but I could see the sadness in his eyes. It broke my heart to see him hurting like this, but I knew that I had to be strong for him.
“I wish he is here to play with me,” he said once again.
“Shhhh, always remember that you have me, and I will always be here for you,” I said, pulling him close for a hug.
As we sat there, wrapped in each other’s arms, I knew that this was just the beginning of a long journey, but I also knew that no matter what happened, I would always be there for my son, to help him navigate the pain and confusion that comes with a heartless father.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled.
“Am I adopted?” he asked, and I was too stunned to speak.
When Enrique asked if he was adopted, I couldn’t stop myself from crying. I didn’t give a damn anymore if I cried in front of him. I felt devastated that the young boy would feel that way because of the way Lucas has treated him. The boy didn’t want anything else but to be loved by his father, and yet, Lucas couldn’t do that. I hate him for it!
“Are you crying because of me?” Enrique asked.
“No, something just went inside my eyes,” I ended up lying as soon as I saw his sad expressions. “You still have a class tomorrow, my son. It’s time to go to bed now,” I told him.
Fortunately, Enrique was naturally a good boy and he didn’t complain. A few moments later, I sighed in relief while watching him sleeping on his bed. He was such an adorable little boy who deserved nothing but pure love from his parents. Inwardly, I promised that I would love him every day regardless of my situation with Lucas.
From Enrique’s room, I went downstairs to get something to drink. I was so confused and I believed I needed a drink to be able to sleep. However, I wasn’t ready when Lucas came and it seemed he needed a drink or two as well. I took two bottles of beer from the fridge – one for Lucas and one for myself. It’s still early to sleep.
“Here’s your beer,” I said to Lucas as I handed him the cold beer.
“Are you going to drink too?” he asked.
“Of course, why not?”
“Oh, you might get drunk and make a mess in front of me, then you’ll be embarrassed to face me tomorrow.”
I just laughed at Lucas’s remark before I started drinking from the bottle I was holding. As we continued chatting, we ended up having one bottle each, then two, three, and I lost count of how many beers we finished. I realized I could handle drinking a lot without even getting drunk.
It felt good to allow oneself to do whatever one wants, without following any rules or caring about the surroundings. I admit I am a late bloomer! But it’s okay, because I could trust Lucas not to do anything bad if I happen to pass out from drinking too much later. Besides, he despised me, so I was less worried he would do anything if I got wasted.
“Excuse me for a minute,” I stood up and asked him if I could use the bathroom. My stomach felt like it was about to explode, and I needed to pee urgently.
“Do you want me to go with you?” he offered.
But I refused. “Don’t worry, I can manage on my own.” I said, even though I felt like I was floating in the air as I walked towards the nearest restroom.
I struggled to keep my eyes open, trying to fight off the sudden drowsiness that engulfed my entire being. Upon entering the restroom, I immediately pulled down my sleeping shorts and sat on the toilet.
“Zara? Are you alright?” I heard Lucas’s voice calling me, but I couldn’t find the strength to respond.
My eyes were almost unable to stay open due to extreme drowsiness. I was feeling fine just a while ago, why did I suddenly become so sleepy? Was I drunk?
“I’m coming in, okay?” He said, but my mind screamed that he couldn’t come in, yet no sound came out of my mouth.
“Zara!”
He helped me get myself together, supporting me as we walked out of the bathroom. On our way to the living room, he gently squeezed my finger to keep me from falling asleep.
“Stay here for a moment, I’ll get you some hot water,” Lucas said.
I nodded and leaned my head against the sofa. I tried to open my eyes but quickly shut them again. The room was spinning rapidly, and I felt extremely nauseous. Damn! I cursed myself for being too confident with the alcohol.
“Here, drink this.”
I tasted the warm water with a hint of salt. Gradually, I felt some relief and finished the cup Lucas gave me.
“Thank you,” I said as I started to feel a bit better.
“Let’s go, I’ll take you to your room.”
“I’ll just stay here for now. You go to sleep,” I dismissed him as I leaned my head against the sofa.
“I can’t do that,” Lucas said before he lifted me up.
“Just put me down, please.”
Apart from feeling embarrassed by him carrying me upstairs to my room, I was also very ashamed of what happened in the bathroom. He was the one who fixed my sleeping shorts before we left. If only he didn’t try to clean my private parts. Arrghh!
“We’re here.” He pushed the door of my room open with his foot.
As we entered, he gently laid me down on the bed and covered me with a blanket. As he tucked me in, our eyes met. Maybe because of our close proximity, I saw and thought of many things.
When I stared at him, I saw something dangerous in his eyes. Definitely dangerous for me! But at the same time, I felt what Lucas might be feeling too. It’s embarrassing to admit, but my body felt warm due to our closeness. He was breathing heavily, and I couldn’t deny my own desires any longer. Could it be because of the alcohol?
“Touch me,” I urged him.
“I would love to, but I don’t want to take advantage of your weakness, Zara.”
“I’m really horny now,” I told him, trying to free myself from the thick blanket to feel the warmth of his body.
“Me too. But this is wrong.”
“Please? Just once.”
“Zara…”
I wanted him to caress my body, but he didn’t want to. So, I had no choice but to be bold and wild. I grabbed his face and kissed his lips. The excitement inside me was so strong that I had a hard time catching my breath.
“Damn!” He cursed.
I heard Lucas curse after I removed my shorts and tank top. Then, slowly and carefully, he touched my breast and gently sucked my nipple. I moaned at his actions; each suck and bite sent shivers through my body.
In one swift motion, Lucas and I switched positions. I was on top of him, and like lightning, I removed all his clothes. We were both naked, but I didn’t feel the cold air from the aircon unit. In fact, we both burned with passion.
Because of the intense heat, I didn’t even think about how thirsty I was for carnal pleasure. I explored his hardness and then slowly, I straddled him, attempting to insert him into my body.
“Slowly….” he said, but I didn’t listen, something I would regret after I felt the fullness of his manhood inside me. It was like being split in half, and I winced in pain.
“I warned you,” he smirked.
“But this is not my first time!” I argued with Lucas while he was still inside me.
He moved and sat while still inside me. Then he started kissing me while squeezing my breasts at the same time.
“Hmmmmm….” a moan escaped me when I felt Lucas move inside me.
At first, it was slow and gentle, but then he became rough and as wild as a crazy horse.
He pleasured my body in a way that I loved and enjoyed! He explored every corner, leaving me struggling to breathe, and I felt like my body could collapse at any minute from what he was doing to me.
With each thrust – deeper, slower, faster, and harder – the sensation was just too much for me to handle, and I wanted some release. I wanted to ease the pain in my abdomen. I wanted to…
“Oh God… Lucas!”
Lucas quickened his pace, and we both moaned loudly. I tried to match his movements until I couldn’t hold on any longer and surrendered completely.
“Lucas….!” I don’t even know how many times I screamed his name as we both reached the peak of pleasure.