Chapter 144: Backstabber
Astrid's POV
I grunted at the pounding headache that had overtaken my body. I can barely see straight-everything is blurry, and I feel so disoriented like I was drugged. However, I haven't eaten or drank anything this morning. It's impossible that I was poisoned.
What's happening to me is strange but also familiar. This was the same thing that happened to me the last time that I lost control of myself and attacked Asha. First, there was that pounding headache, and then once the pain was gone... I suddenly lost control of my body.
I pressed my palms firmly against my temples as if I could somehow squeeze the pain out. But it's no use. The throbbing only intensifies.
It feels like my brain is being squeezed in a vice-like grip. The pain is excruciating, radiating from the center of my skull down to my neck and shoulders.
Still, I tried my best to fight through the pain and keep my eyes open. I can't let what happened last time happen again.
I'm afraid that if I allowed my wolf to take control over my body again, worse things would happen this time.
My vision swirled. Shapes and colors were merged together in a dizzying kaleidoscope. I try to blink away the haze, but it only seems to get worse.
The more that I lose my vision, the clearer that silver wolf becomes in my head.
I've already experienced this last time. Little by little, I'm losing all my senses. Once my vision is gone, I'm afraid it would be easy for that wolf to take over. "What are you doing?" I asked the wolf weakly.
She was just staring at me with a cold gaze, not answering.
I feauseous, like I'm going to be sick. Disoriented, I held to the solid thing nearest to me to keep myself up.
"No, no, no!" I screamed without a sound coming out of my lips as the pain slowly subsided, and I began to lose all my senses.
The last time this happened, I was still able to retain my sense of hearing, but now, I am completely left with nothing.
I was again trapped inside my own body. Without any advantages, I struggled to gain back control again.
"Lyra! Lyra!" I shouted inside my head as I tried to connect with my wolf, Lyra, hoping that she would be here to help me this time.
Last time, Lyra wasn't around to help me, and now she's nowhere to be found either. My connection with her had turned faint. It's like only a single thread is what's left in keeping us together.
A suffocating wave of panic swept
over me. I strained to flex myExclusive content from NôvelDrama.Org.
fingers, to wiggle my toes, but nothing Kappened. Dread consumed me as contemplated the possibility that might not be able to get back my control over my body like the last time.
What happened today was way worse than it was last time. What if I was stuck this way forever? The thought filled me with a bone-deep terror that made my skin crawl.
Tears welled in my eyes as fear gripped my heart. Just when I thought I would forever be a prisoner in my own form, powerless to escape, I was given hope when I began to hear words again. My sense of hearing is slowly coming back.
I fought once again, like a diver fighting to swim to the surface to have a breath of air. The more I fought and followed the voice, the more the sound turned clearer and clearer.
"Astrid, I'm sorry," the voice trembled. "This is all my fault. I am the reason why you are suffering like this."
My brows furrowed as I listened closely. I could feel the person's pain as he spoke. For some reason, my heart twitched as I listened to him.
"I'm so sorry," his words tumbled out in a rush. "For everything I've done to you - the neglect, the coldness, the way I made your life a living hell."
My eyes blinked away tears when I finally realized who was talking.
"I was a selfish, unforgiving
husband, and have no one to blame
but myself for the state you're in now. I'm the reason why you've become like this. I have caused you nothing but pain. In the end, all I can do is be sorry."
I lifted my chin up as I gradually gained the most control of my body. My sense of touch and my vision, all of my senses, had finally come back, and was starting to get a hold of
myself again.
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I swallowed hard as I looked up at Killian, who had been hugging me tight. His shoulder had sagged, and his eyes were closed, so he couldn't see that I was looking at him.
I swallowed hard as I stared at his contorted expression as he held back his pain.
Unable to hold myself back, I lifted my hand and softly pressed my palm on his cheek.
Killian's eyes opened when he felt my hand. He was surprised when he saw me looking at him.
"Astrid!" Killian whispered out with relief, washing over his features.
I smiled at him. I gave him a pained smile. Tears welled in my eyes, but I stubbornly blinked them away.
My resolve wavered as the weight of his words sank in. For a moment, the hard mask I was wearing had cracked, revealing the wounded, vulnerable woman beneath.
But then, I shook my head, stepping back.
"It's too late, Killian," I muttered. "Too much has happened. I can't go back, and neither can you."
A sharp gasp escaped my lips when a searing pain suddenly tore through my back.