Like a mirror.
(ARIELLE'S
POV)
As I sat at my desk in my office, staring blankly at the computer screen in front of me, I couldn't stop my thoughts from straying. These past few days have been of constant debate about Jared's continuous stay in my house and finally it had led me to a decision -I needed
to ask him to leave.
I couldn't continue living with my ex-husband; it was growing awkward and difficult with each passing day.
I had planned to tell him the previous night, but just as I was about to bring it up, Dwayne's call interrupted me, and I decided to put it off until today, after work.
But the more I thought about it, the more I found myself growing more and more anxious. I couldn't continue to keep up with the charade of living with him, pretending that everything was fine when it wasn't.
He was making me uncomfortable with all the nice things he did, and as much as I hated to admit it, they were beginning to get to my heart.
I sighed, pushing my chair back from the desk. I needed to focus on something else, or I would never get any work done. I returned my attention to the designs my graphic designer sent to me for the restaurant's rebranding.
Scrolling through the options, I tried to decide which one I liked best. But my mind kept wandering back to Jared.
*****
The day flew by in a blur, and before I knew it, it was time to leave. I packed up my things, shutting down my laptop and gathering my purse and phone.
As I headed outside, the warm sun hit my skin and I slipped on my sunglasses to shield my eyes. But nothing prepared me for the sight that greeted me.
Jared was parked outside, obviously waiting for me. I halted in my tracks, the scene oddly familiar. I recalled how he used to pick me up from work every day when we were together. It stirred up deep memories from the past, those that I had tried to suppress and bury. But I pushed them aside, putting up a nonchalant face as I approached him.
He greeted me, smiling broadly. "Hey."
I didn't bother returning his smile. Instead, I went straight to my question. "What are you doing here?"novelbin
His smile faltered, but never left his face. "I came to pick you up," he responded.
I made to argue, but remembered we were outside and for all I knew, a press person could be hanging around. The last thing I wanted was to make the headlines with my ex-husband. So I simply stayed mute and walked to the car, but he beat me to it, opening the car door for me.
I paused as our eyes collided. For a moment, I was lost in them, but quickly snapped back to reality and got into the car. Jared shut the door and walked around to get into the driver's seat.
As the car began to move, he asked, "So, how was your day?"
"It was fine," I responded, acting disinterested as I stared out the window, watching the cars and buildings whiz by. Anything not to keep eye contact with him.
He nodded, still all smiles. "That's good. I'm glad to hear that," he paused, his eyes trailing to me before returning to the road.
"Yeah," I mumbled.
The drive continued in silence, each person lost in their thoughts until Jared broke it. "Umm...I wanted to talk to you about something...".
I tore my gaze from the road to look at him, brows raised. "Okay?..."
"Nana Jean has invited us to dinner -you, me, and Maverick."
I paused to assimilate the information, racking my brain on what could be the motive behind the invitation. "Umm...is there a problem? Why is she specifically asking for the three of us? I asked, casting him a suspicious look.
"I don't know," he replied, his eyes fixed pointedly on the road. "You know how unpredictable she can be."
I nodded, seconding that. The monarch of the Smith's family can be unpredictable, but at the same time I can't help but wonder if this was not another of Jared's ploy to bring us even closer.
With that, I turned to him again, sharply, and before I could stop myself, the words slipped out. "When do you plan to leave?"
Jared was caught off guard, his eyes briefly flicking to me before he turned them back to the road, his jaw tightening. He hadn't been ready for that. He hesitated, his voice almost pleading as he spoke.
"Can I stay a little longer?" he asked, his tone soft, almost fragile. "Maverick's gotten used to having me around. We've been... we've been good together."
I could sense he was hurt, even though he tried to mask it, and the ache in my chest deepened, for seeming like a bad person.
I didn't argue with him because he was right; Maverick had indeed gotten attached to him. Still, I shook my head, trying to remain firm. I can't let my emotions get the better of me.
"You don't have to stay at my place to accomplish your mission," I said softly, trying to sound calm and rational. "Move out. Find a hotel."
There was a long pause and when he spoke up, his voice was quieter.
"I...is there a chance for us to start all over again?" He asked the question.
He'd asked me that before, but today-today the question hit differently. It wasn't just hope I heard in his voice, but a raw longing, a hint of regret that cut deeper than I was prepared for.
At the same time I felt a surge of frustration at his persistence.
Why couldn't he just accept that it was over? Why couldn't he just let go?
As if reading my thoughts, he spoke first. "Don't, Arielle."
His eyes met mine, and for the first time in a long while, I saw the raw honesty in them. "Why can't you just put the past behind us?" he asked, his voice soft but insistent. "Forget all the bad things? Focus on who I am now?" My frustration boiled over. "Forget?" I echoed, my voice rising. "How the hell am I supposed to forget?"
"Why can't you just see the person I am now? People change, Arielle. And I have! Please believe me. I've changed."
I sighed, looking at his face silently.
Really looking at him, as if seeing him for the first time.
Dark hair, a strong jawline, smoldering eyes that still made my pulse race he looked just like the man I'd loved for three years and more. But there was something in the lines of his face now. Something I couldn't ignore. "Do you remember our second year of marriage?" I suddenly asked.
Jared stiffened, eyes narrowing as if trying to recall. "Yeah. What about it?"
"You broke a hand mirror you bought in Mexico," began. "The one you called Espejo del Corazón, mirror of the heart. That's our wedding gift. cherished it so much, Jared. I tried to put it back together, but it ever worked."
His gaze fell, and I saw the regret flash across his face. But I wasn't done. I couldn't let him off that easily.
"It's like us, Jared." I continued, my voice cracking.
"All these years, I've asked myself, 'What if I had done things differently? What if I had sacrificed my job as a chef to focus solely on our family? Or if I had kicked Sofia out of our home the moment I saw her? What if I had told you about my pregnancy sooner? What if I had never come home that day and found you with her?"
Jared winced, his face contorting in pain. His eyes turned red and cloudy too, threatening to release the liquid in them. "Arielle, please-" he began, but I cut him off.
"What if I had done all of that? Would things be different between us now... Would we have lived happily ever after?"
I exhaled sharply, trying to regain some semblance of control. But it was hard. God, it was hard.
"I don't have the answers. But I know
one thing: I can't get all that happened. The losses, the wounds, the scars. they're like reliving that broken mirror. Every time I look at you, all I see is the past, haunting me We can't fix it, Jared. We'll never be the same again."