Love for the Librarian

RILEY’S P. O. V.

I wake up a couple of hours later, my head is killing me, my body is sore. Dylan is sleeping next to me. He is still clutching on to me. I wiggle free of his grip and find my clothes. I can not find my underwear but I see Dylan start to stir and I just want to get out of there. I know what happened last night but I am not ready to accept the consequences of it.

I sneak out of the room silently closing the door behind me. The party is still going on. It has quieted down, but it is still drunk palooza. I don’t know if Katelyn and Kevin are still here, but I don’t even care. I just head out. I have to put as much distance between me and this house as possible. I managed to find my car and get home without a hitch. Only when I get home do I remember that I was supposed to be spending the night at Katelyn’s. I sit in my car and debate on going there or just lying to my mother about plans falling through and heading to my room. I decide on the latter, because for all I know my mother is asleep and won’t even know that I am home.

When I enter I know there is no such luck. My mom is sitting up watching TV. She looks over at me when I open the door. She can tell something is off, but she just looks at me puzzled.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

“What happened Honey? Is everything alright with Katelyn?”

I groan. “Yeah, Katelyn is fine. I just had a change of plans and I needed to come home. I just need to sleep.”

She looks me over, “When you are ready to talk about it I am here. I wont judge, honey. Just get some rest tonight.” Then she turns back to the movie. God I love my mom right now. I really did not want to talk about what I just walked away from. I mean I am completely aware that I just lost my virginity and only have half a memory of it. Now I am plagued with thoughts of what the hell it all meant.

I go to my room and strip off Katelyn’s clothes and grab my comfy sleep clothes. As soon as I slip on the oversized t-shirt that I sleep in my phone starts ringing. I look in case it’s Katelyn or Kevin looking for me. It is Dylan. I click ignore. I don’t want to talk to him right now. I send a quick text to Kevin and one to Katelyn, letting them know that I have left the party. I don’t explain why I just say I am home and safe. Then I click my phone off.

I crawl in the bed and immediately there are flashes of Dylan on my skin. His hands all over me, his lips crashing into mine. It is driving me nuts. I wanted to enjoy my first time. It would seem I did at the time, but now I wish it was under better circumstances. I don’t even know what the hell Dylan was doing in a room with Brittney. What the hell were the consequences she mentioned to Dylan when she left? Why the hell does this have to be so complicated. I knew our relationship would get complicated, but not this kind of complicated.

Eventually I drift off to sleep only to be awakened by Katelyn and Kevin jumping on my bed. “What the hell happened to you bitch? I had to get a ride home from this asshole.” Katelyn jokes at me. Then she can see the look on my face and she gets quiet. “Did something happen with Brittney? I saw her skulking around.”

“Kind of. I mean she was there. I really don’t know what the hell she was doing. I was pretty drunk. The room was spinning so I went to look for a room that was empty to lay down. I know I’m not smart at a party, I fully intended to lock the door. But I came to a room where the door wasn’t locked and Dylan was in it with Brittney. Then Dylan told Brittney to leave. They were arguing and she said something about consequences. I just wanted to leave but Dylan pulled me back into the room. Then things got fuzzy. I know Brittney was gone, it was just the two of us. Then…”

Kevin looks at me. “Then what? Did he fight with you?”

“No, we didn’t fight. We uhmmm…” I look at the floor, I don’t even know how to say it.

“Did he leave after?” Katelyn understands completely.

“No, I did.” Tears start to trail down my face. “I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. I think alcohol played a part in the decision process. I mean he hasn’t talked to me for three days. Then he traps me in a room with him. He just said I can’t leave him. Then said that it was all over now and then he was on me. I got lost somewhere in there. He did a lot of mumbling that I didn’t understand.”

Finally it dawned on Kevin what happened. “I’ll kill him.” Anger is flooding through him.

“No, Kevin. I have three more days of school. I am just going to avoid him and then leave town. I don’t ever have to see him again. I left after I woke up, I didn’t give him a chance to talk. He called me by the time I got home. I am sure he wasn’t trying to be an ass. He may not have even known how drunk I was. I just need to get out of here. This is what I was trying to avoid.”

Katelyn looks at me, “You were falling in love with him. Weren’t you?”

“Yeah, I even started contemplating staying around here. I just don’t know what to do now. I think I just need to stick to the course. Get the hell out of here as soon as possible. Two weeks is all I need to do. It will be even easier to avoid him once school is out.” I sound more sure than I really feel.

Katelyn gives me a look, “You tell us what to do. We will do it. If you want to avoid him then we will help.”

“I know you got my back.” I give her a small smile.

Kevin pulls us both into a hug. “You girls are all I have right now. I ditched all my other friends. I will do whatever it takes to make you two happy. Oh, which reminds me I will be moving with you two in two weeks. I am not staying in town without the two of you.”

We hug Kevin back. It is amazing how in such a short time he has become one of us. After all, a couple of weeks ago we hated this dude. Now we are stuck to him. I look at Katelyn, “I am going to drive the next few days of school and I will be at school early. I do not want him stopping by trying to give me a ride.”

“You could just stay at my house.” Katelyn suggests.

“I would, but I think my mom is starting to get to the point where she misses me. She was up watching a movie last night. I do not want her to be addicted to TV. I will spend time with her before I leave. I think it will make her happy. She was really cool when I came home last night. She didn’t push anything, but she seems to know everything at the same time.”

“Can’t you just tell your mom that you don’t want Dylan around?” Katelyn asks. We are still stuck in some sort of huddle.

“I could, but she fell in love with him that day he came for breakfast. I wouldn’t want to burst that bubble. It is just best to avoid at this point.”

Kevin pulls away from us. “Alright I am glad that you are alive. We needed to check on you. However I think you didn’t sleep very well last night so I want to leave you to sleep. Come on Katelyn.” He goes to pull her out. But I stopped him.

“Actually, do you guys want to have a movie and junk food day here? I know it isn’t as big as Katelyn’s but it could still be nice.” I point to the small TV off in the corner. “I just want my friends right now. I don’t want to be alone. That just leads to thoughts, and I am so done with those.”

Katelyn smiles. “Alright but I get to pick the movies.”

“No ghosts and I will stay.”

“What about clowns?”

I scream, “No, you know that is the one line I draw.”

Katelyn laughs, “Alright how about a Scream marathon, we can yell at the TV telling the bitches that they are stupid.”

I laugh, because every time we do this marathon all we do is laugh. This is one of Katelyn’s cheer up moves. “I’ll go get some snacks. I think the movies are still in the drawer from last time.” I jump up from bed and head to the kitchen. My mom is in there making some breakfast, pancakes, sausage and eggs.

“Are your friends sticking around?” She wants to know how much breakfast to make.

“Yeah, mom. They are here to cheer me up.” Then I get a little low and shy around her. “Um mom I hate to ask this of you, but if Dylan comes by can you tell him I’m not here. I just really don’t want to see him right now.”

“Sure honey. I don’t know what happened but I know it is serious. You are not one to avoid a problem. I do suggest that you talk to him before you leave town. You don’t want that hovering over your head while you are gone.” She is so smart sometimes it is scary. I wonder why the hell she stayed with my dipshit dad all this time.

“Thanks mom. We are going to be hanging out here today. Scream marathon. I came to get some snacks.” I give her a smile.

“Alright I will bring some stuff in every so often. I will bring breakfast when it is done. For now go ahead and get that box of crackers and I will have breakfast done in about twenty minutes.” She gets back to the stove and flips some things. I stopped watching, grabbed the crackers and headed back to the room.

Katelyn has blocked the window so that it is dark in the room. Kevin is fiddling with the TV I am assuming putting on the first movie. I start moving the pillows around on my bed so that we can all sit on it. My bed sits against the wall so I am able to maneuver the pillows so it is more like a couch. Kevin plops in the middle. And I take the side closest to the window and Katelyn takes the other side of Kevin. By the time we get all cozy my mom comes in with the plates of food assuring us that she will be back later with some cookies.

I thank her as she leaves and then before we start the first movie I hear a knock on the front door. I freeze, Katelyn goes to the door and cracks it so she can listen to it. She gives me the shosh signal and then listens. I can hear my mom talking but I really can’t make out what they are saying. Then the door shuts. Katelyn comes back to the bed. “It was Dylan, your mom told him you weren’t home. I am pretty sure he is leaving.”

Kevin throws his arms over both of us. Then the movie starts. We take the day and start enjoying it. I keep thinking about Dylan of course. I can’t keep my mind from drifting there. Especially when it gets to the end of the first movie and she sleeps with the killer. That is a point where I get really quiet. Because all I can think about is last night. Then to make matters worse Kevin’s phone rings. He looks and it is Dylan.

He takes the phone and leaves the room. I have no idea what he talks to him about, just that he comes back and says, “I took care of it. He really is looking hard for you.”

The rest of the day seems to be radio silence. I wonder if he tried to call Katelyn too, but then I remember that she probably didn’t give him her number. After the final movie I lay back in bed. “I think I am ready to go to sleep. Are you guys going to stay or head home?”

Katelyn gets up. “I think I am going to head home. I have not had a shower, and I need to be ready for tomorrow. Operation keep Dylan at bay.”

Kevin follows Katelyn out, “Sweet dreams.” He calls as he leaves.

I start to drift off to sleep and think about Dylan again and last night. I groan as it occurs to me that I may not sleep as well tonight as I would like. I get up and shower trying to relax, then crawl back in bed. I hear a knock on my window. I want to ignore it but I can’t. I know he won’t be satisfied until he finds me.

I go to the window and pull down the cover that Katelyn put up, Then open the drapes. There is Dylan, he is giving me a half smile. Then he points to the bottom of the window and then points up. Obviously he wants me to open the window. I roll my eyes and oblige. I can’t help but be weak around this guy.

When the window opens he looks at me, “you left me. I thought you said you wouldn’t leave me.”

“Dylan, I think that maybe we need to rethink some things. I wasn’t all there last night. I had way too much to drink. I only remember parts of it. But one thing that I remember pretty strongly is I came to a room that you were in alone with Brittney. I still have no answers on what the hell is going on with you. You really aren’t giving me anything.”

“Babe, I told you it is all over now. You don’t need to worry about it. Look I didn’t know you were that drunk. I wouldn’t have done that if I had known. I really just needed to be with you. Babe, please let’s talk about this.”

I sigh and look at him. “I think this time, I need the space. Dylan I don’t know what is going on and I don’t like that. I need space to figure it all out. Can you please just give me that? I didn’t push you, don’t push me.”

He looks defeated. “Alright, will you still text me. I was texting you. Can you at least give me that?”

I look at him and nod. I don’t know how much I will communicate with him but I will give him that. I care about this guy way more than I should. To be honest I want to crawl in his arms and never leave, but I know things are more complicated than that.

He nods back. “Babe, I really am sorry about last night. I didn’t want our first time to be like that. I was just feeling you and needed to have you. I am sorry.” I can see the sincerity in his eyes. That is what makes this so hard.

“I know, I just need time Dylan. Please.” Without another word he is away from the window. I feel my heart ache as he is gone. I want to scream and have him come back, I want him so bad it is making me crazy.

I fall back on my bed and am far less comforted than when I saw him last. I will have trouble sleeping again tonight. I wish things were easier, but I wouldn’t trade the time I have had with Dylan for anything. This thought alone gives me enough comfort to get some sleep. I don’t regret Dylan.