It Happened Last Year

I do not remember much from last night, exhaustion held my memory, but I know where I am supposed to be, and that is not in Daniels bed. Somehow I am wrapped in the blankets, warm and cozy. At first, I panicked. I freaked out. My body shot up and turned to the side, thankfully to find the bed empty beside me. Daniel didn’t sleep here, we didn’t do anything. At that point, I took and deep breath and fell back against his pillow.

It smells like him, everything does. I could stay in his bed forever, which worries me. If I was a normal girl, I might be hurrying out of here and searching for Daniel, but I want to take in this moment while I can.

Maybe this is a dream, maybe I never came over to his house in the first place. I’ll wake up in my bed at home any second now, and I’ll be extremely disappointed. I would groan and shove my face into my pillow, wishing to fall back asleep, needing to return to this heaven I have found myself in.

I do wonder where Daniel is, though. If he didn’t sleep here, then where has he gone? I shouldn’t search the house, possibly crossing boundaries I shouldn’t pass. I can’t just wait here either, though my heart is begging me too, my heart feels complete wrapped up in his boyish scent and surrounded by his things. Creepy, Hailey. Creepy.

It would be awkward if he found me like this, lying awake, daydreaming about sleeping here every night.

At the sound of nearing footsteps, I spring from the bed and casually look for my phone, wherever it may be. My heart races as I mindlessly search under the bed, and the door opens.

“Looking for something?”

From the sound of his voice, I have the need to blush and smile and do all those flirty things girls do at the sign of their crush. Instead, I hold it back and peer up. “I can’t find my phone.”

He looks different than he does at school or at Watts’ or anywhere else. Daniel looks rested, relaxed, and definitely even more dreamy to the average teenage girl. Maybe it’s the bedhead or the slept-in clothes, either way, I could get used to it.

Daniel leans over to the dresser and picks up my phone before walking it to me. I get up from my hands and knees and shyly take it from him. “Thanks,” I murmur and glance at the screen, seeing a few texts and missed calls from my mother. Oh God. I’ve forgotten about that part. “I have to go,” I bring my phone to my chest, “my mom has to be freaking out. God, she must have a search party or-Can you take me home? She can never know I was here.”

Daniel nods, understanding the complication that is my mother. “Yeah, of course.”

In his car, back on the road, I lean against the seat and close my eyes. My body is still in shock from waking up so quickly, and I could use a minute to calm down. Scenarios of my mother yelling and shipping me off to Canada pop into my head, and if she could, I think she would. “Thanks,” I say, bringing myself away from such thoughts. “Though, I am sorry I passed out.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

My eyes shift to look at him. “I stole your bed from you; I’m the worst houseguest ever. Where did you sleep?”

Daniel shrugs. “Just in the guest room. Really, don’t feel bad.”

“You should have woken me up.”

“I couldn’t do that,” he says, glancing at me, “you were tired.”

When we reach my house an even more intense feeling settles in the pit of my stomach, but not only for my mother’s punishment. “What are we doing? W-What is this?” I ask, no longer looking in his eyes. I can already feel the heat rising in my face. “I mean, you kiss me and. . .” I can’t help but look up.

“I do,” he says, making my cheeks hotter.

Somewhat embarrassed and distracted, I shift. “Yeah. So my mom is probably-” and just before I pop the door open, Daniel stops me.

His hand is on my leg, my thigh, and I turn back to him. Memories flood back to me and I try to shoo them away. “I don’t know what this is,” he says, “but I would like it to be something.”

A little surprised, I nod. “Okay, well, I should go. My mom is probably flipping tables.”

Daniel says nothing, and before I take it as a hint to leave, he leans over and places his lips on mine. I have missed this, these feelings rushing through me. His hand brushes up against my jaw and I sink into it.

Just as things grow a bit heavier, his hand touches my thigh again, and suddenly he comes to mind.

I was sat on his desk, it was after school and most hallways and classrooms were empty.

Mr. Russ closed the door, locked it, then neared me. My hands gripped the desk underneath me, squeezing harder as he drew closer.

What do you need? I asked.

He stood right in front of me, stepping in between my legs. It bothered me to feel the fabric of his pants on the inside of my thighs. Without saying a word he pressed his lips against mine, placing his hands on my back all to trap me in. As his lip tried so desperately to revive mine, his hands dragged down my back, down my thighs, and squeezed. It was firm, his fingers pressing into me. My lips stopped moving, and his did quickly after.

Mr. Russ pulled away and stared down at my upset face. His hands let go of my legs and he backed up. I wanted so bad to look okay, to not cry and to continue on. I didn’t want to be hurt, I wanted to be like the other girls, like Lila.

Did I do something? He asked, worried but calm.

I shook my head. No, everything’s fine, I said. Trying to pull myself together, I put on my happy face, but the glue wasn’t drying.Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.

My knuckles were white, my grip tight enough to hold me to the desk even if the world flipped upside down.

It’s fine, I said, I’m fine.

Pulling away from Daniel, I look to my hand now over his, still on my thigh.

I move it off of me.