Alpha Noah

~Abella

I have a way of making Noah vulnerable.

It’s probably my worst idea yet, however, it’s worth a shot. Not to mention, it’s a question that’s been dwelling on my mind since the moment it happened, disturbing me consistently. I’m hoping this might link to Cian, giving me some answers. Neither of them so far have been able to give me a sliver of information, which means I’ll just have to be more creative in getting it out of them.

“Can I ask you something. You have to promise not to be mad,” I say softly. Noah glances up at me from where he was serving himself food. He raises a questioning eyebrow. He touchy now, skeptical of my true intention for being here.

“Go ahead,” he murmurs.

“I know I shouldn’t have done this, but I came over yesterday and I went into your office looking for you, and I found these…” I tell him, reaching into my back pocket to where the drawings I found are neatly folded into a square. I lay them out neatly on the surface of the table, turning it around it face him. “Really disturbing drawings.”

Noah doesn’t react, staring down at each drawing with a slight crease between his eyebrows. Now I’ve done it. I’ve stepped over the line, I’m going to lose my job and the chance at another friend other than Sam. Not to mention, I’ll be on an Alphas bad side.

“Oh…” he replies.

“I know it was none of my business but they were strewn everywhere and they really got to me for some reason. You can tell me I’m crazy and hate me for taking these,” I tell him all in one breathe, realising how insane I must be. I broke into his home and took his property without him knowing. He has every reason to not like me after this.

“You’re not crazy,” he admits, pushing his plate away. His eyes are on me, but it’s as if he is looking straight through me. Clearly he’s deep in thought, meaning these have a lot of background behind them. Guilt suddenly streams through me as I realise I’m exposing his darkest thoughts, if they even belong to him.

“So what are they? Did you do them?” I ask tentatively, attempting not to cross the line.

He bites the edge of his lip. “Yes, these are mine.”

My heart stutters for a moment as I cast my gaze back down to the drawings. They are expressions of pure dark, demented thoughts. The kind, softly spoken Alpha who I may have just met, but already feel like I know so well, could not have done these. I’ve always assumed there was more to know him, but not something like this. Maybe a family secret or Alpha business… but this?

“Are you okay?” I ask softly. Reaching my hand out to his, trying to grasp it for support, I’m surprised when he pulls away, refusing. I’ve done it now. I’ve really stepped on his toes.

He loosens a breath. “Not really. I’m not a good guy.”

I’m not sure whether I should be scared or saddened. The silence in the room is heavy, the emptiness of this home adding to my vulnerability. No one is here to save me, not even his assistant. Still, I need to keep pushing, because this may be my only chance to lead him into a situation where he feels willing enough to be honest with me.

“Something else unnerved me. Your assistant acted strange when she caught me in here. She pretended like I hadn’t came in, and forced me out. She even told me never to come back,” I tell him. Out of all this, that haunted me the most. Why would she possibly say that this isn’t the life I want? Was she jealous or serious?

“She was probably right,” Noah mutters. He’s not looking at me anymore, that emerald gaze I admire so much having lowered to the knotted fingers before him.

I force the tightest smile onto my face, but it only appears uncomfortable. “You can talk to me, if you’re troubled.”

“I’m more than troubled, Abella,” he tells me. “There’s a lot you don’t know.”

I’m shocked as he stands.

He’s dismissing me and this entire dinner. Wordlessly, his chair scrapes back, and he does to leave the dining hall. Irritated, I stand, following him out into the hallway and into the foyer. After everything that’s been said, he can’t leave like this. I need answers…any answers that don’t lead to more questions. Even if they hurt me.

I reach out to snag his dress shirt, but the stain slips from my fingers. “Then tell me. Tell me about you and Cian. Why do you two hate each other so much?”

Noah whirls around, eyes blazing, breath hitched. “Cian plays dirty with everything he does. He lies and manipulates until he gets what he wants. Him and I made a deal years ago. He broke that deal.”

“Deal? What kind of deal?” I ask.

Of all people to want a deal, Cian strikes me as the exact person. He’s Greed, a Sin. All that Noah has told me comes to no surprise, in fact, it only saddens me. No one likes my mate. How could they? Sins are cruel, dirty immortals who everyone despises. They have enough power to get away with whatever they wish.

“I really wouldn’t inquire-“

I feel my anger suddenly escalate until it bursts completely randomly. “Noah, don’t you think I have a right to know? He’s my mate?”

“Then ask him,” he replies with just as much force. Realising his tone, he breathes in deeply, closing his eyes for a moment. Suddenly he frowns and shakes his head. “Actually no, don’t.”

“What are you so scared of?” I ask him. I’m desperate at this point.

Noah doesn’t answer for a moment, before he begins pacing. The sound of his footsteps echo throughout the foyer. I’m waiting for him to kick me, as I breath heavily, trying to calm myself. I’m so desperate for answers that I’m getting angry at him. Why do all these people have to be so secretive? I’m apart of this too…

Without warning, Noah carefully gets to his knees, looking up at me from where his head is level with my waist. “Be with me. Let me take you away from all this. Away from him.”

I’m stunned.

“What are you talking about?” I ask shakily. Glancing around, I try find anyone to suggest this isn’t real, because there’s no way an Alpha is on his knees in front of me, professing his love for me, begging me to be with him over my mate. It’s such strange situation, I’m not even sure of what is coming out of my mouth.

This time it’s his turn to reach for my hands, but I pull away before he can touch me. “Please Abella. I’ll do anything. Be with me.”

“Look, I hardly know you, and Cian is my mate. No matter how I feel, he has to come first,” I tell him firmly.

I’m trying to be reasonable, but my throat is dry and my heart is racing. This can’t be real. Maybe this is a bad dream and I’ll wake up in my bed at my old apartment with Sam wine drunk in my living room. That’s how things should be. Alpha Noah should not be begging to be with me when I’m not even sure why. I don’t even want to know.

“Trust me with this one. I’ll do anything,” he tells me, getting to his feet. His expression is solemn, like he knows I’m going to reject him, but can’t do anything about it.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

I know, because he’s still hiding something from me. I can see it in those beautiful eyes of his.

“I’m sorry,” I breathe.

Backing up a few steps, I make a brisk break for the exit. I’m not going to stand there and have him say these things to me when I don’t know why. When he decides he wants to be fully honest with me.

Who knows when that will be.

***

“Can you come get me?”

“This is an interesting development,” he replies.

I roll my eyes, wiping a tear off my cheek. Walking back to my accommodation, I talk with Cian on the phone. Right now, I need someone to talk to that’s not Noah. Someone who might be able to distract me. I owe him my time anyway, to give him a chance to prove to me that he can be the mate I need him to be. Honestly, after Noah’s admission, I don’t even feel up to romance.

“I really don’t need your smart mouth right now,” I tell him. That’s a lie. I could really do with some distraction.

“Alright. I’ll take you somewhere and we can really have some fun,” he tells me. I hear him moving around on the other side of the phone.

As much as this is a bad idea, Cian could be the one thing to help me right now.

Maybe I am going crazy… and I’m okay with it.