Crossed Finger Part Two
Arletta Jessica McDowell POV
"The plan is, I would to go to one of the clinics or hospitals we usually go to, Mom," I replied, without any hesitation.
Mom had not commented yet, but her gaze was piercing as if she was trying to get to the bottom of things. I tried to stay calm and act normal, because if there were any suspicion, then Mom would easily know which part was a lie and which part was true.
"You can't stand Dad's attitude anymore, right?"
I was stunned as Mom's voice became softer, and not only that, but her face also looked sad. I almost felt guilty for not being completely honest, but I had no other choice right now.
"Yes, Mom. Dad is always forcing me and Ben to do what he wants. We are not robots."
There were more negatives when I thought about all of Dad's words and actions. He was supposed to be a good father, but instead, he made us miserable. Mom looked down, so I did not know what to do. Could it be that she felt sad about her husband's bad behaviour?
"Mom?" I tried to greet her, but she was silent.
I did not dare to touch Mom's shoulder. What should I do? She still remained silent, so I became very confused and could only stare without doing anything else.
The room was quiet, but I was even afraid that something had happened to Mom. Was she okay? What if she felt something or got sick suddenly?
"Mom, are you okay?" I asked again and looked down. There were no tears there, and Mom must have been crying inside.
"I am okay." Mom replied in a trembling voice, but her gaze remained on the tiled floor.
I knew that Mom felt the opposite and had deliberately said the words just now so as not to worry her. I have been her daughter for twenty years, so I have come to understand her traits, including that one.
Time went slower for me, because of Mom's strange behaviour. Dear universe, please forgive me, because that little lie made Mom sad. I did not do this to protect Arlan, but to avoid bigger problems, and to live a normal life without fear. Mom straightened her head, so I spontaneously did the same. What would she say to me?
"Lizzy, you can go to our usual hospital. I will contact them and make sure you get the four doctor's letters as you requested."
I gasped, not believing the words. Wow! Mom approved my request. Why did it happen so soon? I was still confused, but on the other hand, I was happy that she did not ask me more questions.
"You can take three days off to rest at home or go elsewhere. Use that time for resting your body and mind wisely. I will make sure the situation is safe and that no one knows where you are going."
I spontaneously hugged Mom, because felt happy mixed with guilt. I rarely skipped classes; I could say this was the first time I had done it. I have been a good student at Dumorz University and have always been like that. Hopefully, within three days, I would have found a trusted psychiatrist and undergone therapy, though I knew that was not enough time.
"Thanks, Mom." That was all I could say as I tried to keep myself from crying.
"It is okay. You can undergo counseling with a psychologist or psychiatrist in the hospital, so that you can release your pent-up negative emotions." Mom said as she rubbed my back.
Damn! Guilt filled my chest even more, especially when Mom mentioned psychiatrists and psychologists. Was it safe to tell them all the problems that had happened? Let's see. I did not want to take the wrong step, because it could be dangerous. Personal problems should not be told to random people, because someday they could be used to attack us.
"Yes, Mom. But before going to a psychologist or psychiatrist, I want to go to a general practitioner first."
Yeah, I would need four doctor's certificates with sickness information, as I explained to Mom.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .
"No need. When you arrive, the receptionist will give you the letter. You just need to choose a senior psychologist or psychiatrist."
I did not know whether to feel happy or sad when I heard Mom's explanation. Being a top leader of The Hidden Dragon did have its positives and negatives. One of the advantages was controlling many places like the hospital, and no one dared to refuse Mom's orders, because they were gang members too.
"Noted, Mom. I wish there was a senior psychologist or psychiatrist. If I may, I prefer a psychiatrist instead, Mom."
I knew that I would be given some drowsy medicine, but I would take it because I didn't go anywhere for three days unless Gwen or Sammy came to the house.
"You will get whatever you want, including a senior psychiatrist, Princess. Do not worry."
To be honest, I was always afraid when Mom called me that. The princess here was not like a princess who leads a kingdom, but the second highest position that would replace Mom in the future. What would my future look like? "Thank you, Queen." It felt so hard to say those words, but I had to do it anyway.
Though I felt bad, I did not want to think about anything else. Hopefully, the senior psychiatrist would cooperate, so that he could provide appropriate therapy and medication for my phobias.
"Do not be sad anymore. You must stay healthy and sane for the sake of our clan's future."
At this time, could Mom not remind me of her mafia group? Ben and I did not get to choose what kind of family we were born into, but from a young age, we were burdened with a lot of responsibilities that we were obligated to carry on without our consent.
"Yes, Mom."
What could I say? I might not be financially strong enough to live without my parents, but that did not mean I was giving up.
"Good. Dad has already left for the office so that you can be dropped off by a driver. The shadow guards will always be watching over you, so you do not have to be afraid. If there's an emergency, just call me."
Mom seemed to be afraid that the Hidden Dragon's enemies would suddenly appear. I was also scared that happen because they could act beyond imagination, but I kept a positive mindset that everything would be fine and safe. "I understand. I will do it."
Mom hugged me tighter and tighter, while I held my anxiety alone.
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